A few years ago, Back when my sister and I were talking more, I phoned her just to see how she was doing. I was immediately met with the assumption that I was phoning because I was bored, and that she didn’t want to be used to relieve my boredom. I was left flabbergasted, asContinue reading “The Benefits of Curiosity with Sibling Estrangement”
Tag Archives: #boundaries
Holding the Vision of who you are
The first thing I recommend to people whenever they meet with difficult family members that exhibit toxic behavior is to maintain their physical and emotional safety. This, above all other skills, is what enables us to put a stop to abusive remarks or actions that leave us drained, depleted, confused, or worse. But there isContinue reading “Holding the Vision of who you are”
The Dark Side of Voluntary and Involuntary Estrangement
As we continue to find kindred souls who experience sibling estrangement like us, and have relevant conversations about this subject on the sibling estrangement Facebook page, sooner or later, differing perspectives come up. We’ve talked before about estrangers and estrangees, and how it’s not always obvious where one or the other starts. Nonetheless, more needsContinue reading “The Dark Side of Voluntary and Involuntary Estrangement”
Six types of Courage and Sibling Estrangement
Mapping the challenges that come with sibling estrangement can be a daunting task. We are invariably put in a position that causes us to reevaluate entire relationships, and assess what this has done to us, and how best we can cope and protect ourselves. One aspect that comes to mind is the courage and dignityContinue reading “Six types of Courage and Sibling Estrangement”
Weaponizing Forgiveness
It’s often mentioned that we should forgive. Everywhere we go, we are told to turn the other cheek. That is especially true in family settings. Certain family members may well feel awkward with the idea that their offspring don’t get along with each other. So much so that undue pressure can be put on usContinue reading “Weaponizing Forgiveness”
Personalization and Sibling Estrangement
Whenever we experience estrangement, we are often left shocked, dismayed, and can start to experience the sense of an unfinished story in our head. Because our heads don’t like unfinished stories, we can come up with all sorts of explanations to fill that void. The thing is, those reasons can end up playing against us.Continue reading “Personalization and Sibling Estrangement”
Willful Blindspot
A while back, when my father was still living, it would happen that we would discuss my sister, and the impact she was having on me. In particular, her lack of ability in feeding the relationship with me. In essence, my father would put the emphasis on me for making the relationship better. When IContinue reading “Willful Blindspot”
Estranged versus Estranger
Someone recently posted in one of the estrangement pages on facebook that the people estranged couldn’t possibly be in the same group as those doing the estranging. His argument was that if you were estranged, then there must be a reason for it, of which you are responsible. Such rigid, judgmental and dismissive thinking causedContinue reading “Estranged versus Estranger”
Sibling Estrangement 