Indicators of success and Sibling Estrangement

Every now and then, the question invariably comes up. We become more knowledgeable about our sibling estrangement, recognize the traps and pitfalls, and start to ask “how do I know I’m getting better?” It’s a perfectly valid question. As with anything, there can never be a complete and final mastery on any given subject. SoContinue reading “Indicators of success and Sibling Estrangement”

Should I go No Contact with my sibling?

Maintaining or completely cutting off ties with a sibling is perhaps one of the biggest questions we can attempt to answer. It is not always an easy decision to make, and can sometimes feel counter-intuitive. Such a choice doesn’t come lightly, and can be due to a series of dehumanising and demeaning gestures that buildContinue reading “Should I go No Contact with my sibling?”

Weaponizing Forgiveness

It’s often mentioned that we should forgive. Everywhere we go, we are told to turn the other cheek. That is especially true in family settings. Certain family members may well feel awkward with the idea that their offspring don’t get along with each other. So much so that undue pressure can be put on usContinue reading “Weaponizing Forgiveness”

Personalization and Sibling Estrangement

Whenever we experience estrangement, we are often left shocked, dismayed, and can start to experience the sense of an unfinished story in our head. Because our heads don’t like unfinished stories, we can come up with all sorts of explanations to fill that void. The thing is, those reasons can end up playing against us.Continue reading “Personalization and Sibling Estrangement”

Anger as an End State to Sibling Estrangement?

I recently had an online exchange with a member from another estrangement group who reacted strongly to our estrangement videos. She accused me of an intent and conclusion that wasn’t true, despite the clarification of my thoughts on the matter. Nevertheless, there was no changing her mind. She was absolutely convinced that anger was justified,Continue reading “Anger as an End State to Sibling Estrangement?”

Bad Chemistry and Sibling Estrangement

It’s happened to us often enough that we’ve seen conversation start to go downhill relatively quickly with our sibling-s. What can start off as being a neutral conversation can quickly fall into invasive, demeaning, and provoking questions that can bring up our defenses, and cause us to react in ways that are out of characterContinue reading “Bad Chemistry and Sibling Estrangement”

Facticity and Transcendence in a Sibling Relationship

In one of my recent online support groups, it was discussed that some members were experiencing a significant shift with regards to their perception of their sibling, and the role they play in their lives. I truly believe this is a process of grief, associated to Worden’s tasks of mourning ( as adapted in theContinue reading “Facticity and Transcendence in a Sibling Relationship”

Willful Blindspot

A while back, when my father was still living, it would happen that we would discuss my sister, and the impact she was having on me. In particular, her lack of ability in feeding the relationship with me. In essence, my father would put the emphasis on me for making the relationship better. When IContinue reading “Willful Blindspot”